🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. We’re advising all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” That bit of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, speaking, bespectacled member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. But, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Truly, consider my perspective.

When situations deteriorate, the biggest mistake you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. In fact, the majority of the dentally-gifted beasts that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential comic sensibility regarding the indistinct border separating everyday life and pure pandemonium. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and as I age, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.

A Childhood Obsession

Understandably, my fondness for this movie did not begin on such an philosophical plane. Growing up, we were limited to a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case probably bought from an off-brand video shop and boasting growling monsters on its tattered front. I was instantly captivated and these films quickly proceeded embedding themselves inside my small, malleable brain. Henceforth, they became an almost-daily part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its status as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. However, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d seclude myself indoors and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Gradually, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents noticed this obsession, they gave no indication of concern.

Subtler Rewards and Societal Nuggets

As I grew, new understandings rewarded multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching diminutive verdant beasts gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking development mogul and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his former spouse Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his genuine article inspiration.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was inspired by a genuine “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film alternate cuts of a meta sequence where Gremlins take over the exact movie you are viewing. A version for theaters, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each providing a grinning portion of self-referential entertainment sorcery before the term was even a thing.

An Enduring Legacy

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this subsurface richness maintained my fascination as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This cartoonish insubordination and resolve to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only made me love it even more.

When I went through a sudden family bereavement recently, I was astonished to realize that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Maybe not. The comforting familiarity it provided was necessary to dilute my mind’s sadness sludge – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to be like them: welcome the pandemonium, invest all your resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.